Rainbows

There is a term for babies born after the loss of a baby or child in the babyloss community and that is Rainbow Baby. I heard the perfect explanation of this recently and thought, that is what it means. Here it is and to give credit where it is due, this is from Pregnancy After Miscarriage & Pregnancy Loss on Facebook:

‎"Rainbow Babies" is the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn't mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy and hope.

I have really found this to be true with Matthew. He fills my heart with so much joy and love (as does Jack) but I still miss my Henry. When people ask me how many children I have, in my head I saw three but out loud I say two because I don't want to tell complete strangers my story. Both of my boys bring so much light to my life and keep away the clouds most of the time but not a day goes by that I don't think of my sweet Henry and picture him right in the mix of my boys as they are playing or eating or learning something new. My Gran recently passed in November of 2011 and we were very close. I find comfort in her holding Henry in her sweet arms like she has my other two boys here on earth. She is the only person who knows Henry alive and feels him moving like I did and I miss them both so much everyday.