Sunday, January 16, 2011

Neglect







My poor blogs have been very neglected. Not because I don't think about Henry or this blog, sometimes I just can't find the strength or the gumption to do it. It makes me reflect and put it out there and sometimes it just takes too much out of me. However, I thought about it this morning and felt up to it. I left off in July and much has happened since then. In August, on the date that Henry was born, we had a wonderful, special celebration of his life. My parents came to Chicago and we went out to brunch and then went to Lake Michigan and had a balloon release. It was so special and nice. It wa s a beautiful, sunny day and we could see the balloons for such a long time until they were a speck in the sky and disappeared. They went right out over the lake and kept going so far and just looked amazing over the lake and perfect blue sky backdrop. It made me feel good to honor Henry this way and have the people I loved there with me. Of course we got lots of phone calls and emails that day and that made it special too. That day will always be so special to me and now I am starting to try and think of not just how sad I feel about Henry but how lucky I was to have him in my life for the short time that we did. I miss him so much and would change the outcome if I could but I can't and the fact that we had him as long as we did and I was able to deliver him is something I am grateful for. I sent little thoughts up to him all the time and talk to Jack about him and know that he is looking over Jack and this new baby that I am carrying, our little guardian angel. I am attaching some pictures from Henry's birthday.